How punishment works (not) - read here!
I recently set out to the Honorable Public my point of view that violent methods do not allow anything to be achieved. In fact, I was not quite right.
Of course, you can achieve it. And even there are options. There are three of them. Well, I only remembered three. Maybe you know more, then write.
Aggression. You may not notice it because it does not always return to the one who started first. Your Child may not dare to openly fight against you - but it may vent anger on Us, animals - because it is difficult for us to protect ourselves. And then you will wonder why your child is pugnacious or why a cat is hiding from him. Although you should not be surprised - you yourself taught him this.
- Hypocrisy. I specifically spied this word in the dictionary. That is, outwardly everything can really change, and while you look, your Dog probably will not steal from the table, and the Child will not swear in bad words. But motivation (i.e. the desire to get something important) will not disappear. And if you turn away ...
- You know, I think the worst option is the third. This is learned helplessness (yes, I leafed through smart books at my leisure, My Man somehow forgot). Evil People conducted an experiment: A dog was put in a cage and a current was supplied, and the Dog could not avoid the blows. Everything was sad: The dog just went to bed and generally did not react to anything. And she did not try to find a way out, even when it was possible to get out of the cage. You can do the same with your Children, by the way. And then think: why are they not trying to try new things, but they are terribly afraid of failure?
Of course, I’m just a Horse (well, it’s just for you), but I know for sure that violence and similar “punishments” do not change anything in essence. And even if they "treat" a symptom (at best), the reason remains. So, a new symptom will “grow”.
You can smear a Child who bites his nails and fingers with muck, but after a while a nervous tic will develop, for example. You can wear an electroshock collar on your Dog, but don't be surprised that it will become cowardly or aggressive.
Maybe it makes sense to look for other ways to communicate with those who are weaker and more defenseless?
But, of course, this only applies to relationships that matter to you. And when a long-term result is more important than momentary profit.